High Sodium Freaks
by ButtButtDoodle
Summary: A compilation of Supernatural drabbles through-out various seasons. Ranging from short to long, canon to AU, silly to serious - but mostly silly. Enjoy the hunt, you High Sodium Freaks.
1. Invisible Blood

ButtButtDoodle: Here lie all my random Supernatural-themed drabbles. Some are short, some are long, some are silly and some are - nah, most of them are silly. Keeping things light. Enjoy.

Prompt: "You said you were bleeding!" "Not visibly."

Characters: Dean, Sam and Jo.

888

"I don't get it! How does this sonnovabitch keep finding us?!" Dean shouted from his hiding place behind the rock.

What was supposed to be a simple job in a port town had gone terribly askew. They had already lost the people who had hired them to the monster's incessant appetite, and now it was only Sam, Dean and Jo left. Fan-fucking-tastic.

Sam shook his head, just as confused as his older brother. "I don't understand. This creature's blind and deaf, so it should be relatively easy to avoid it. Its only strong suit is it's sense of smell. Just like sharks, they're drawn to the smell of blood. They can smell it a mile away and will follow the scent obsessively once they catch it. But- "

"Yeah, skip the magizoology lesson, Newt Scamander. We know that much. But none of us are sporting Carrie's bloody prom dress, so why the hell is it still following us? It's not like we're bleeding!"

A long silence and then-

"Actually…I am."

Dean's and Sam's heads whipped towards Jo.

"Dammit, you're hurt?! Where's the wound-"

"I don't have a wound."

Dean's brows furrowed in confusion. "But you just said you were bleeding-"

"I am! Just…Not _visibly_."

"what are you…oh… **OH.** "

"…"

"…"

"Well can't you make it stop-"

"It doesn't _work_ that way, Neanderthal!"

888

Being a female hunter has got to suck sometimes. xD Cookies to whoever caught the HP reference.


	2. Supernatural Costume Party

Prompt: Costume Party (The one where Dean can't stop making puns)

Characters: Sam, Dean and Castiel (no pairing – unless you squint).

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"You do realize that you actually have to _wear_ a costume to a Costume Party, right?"

Dean glared at his younger brother in mock offense. "I _am_ wearing one, Captain Oblivious. God, now I know what women feel like when their husband's don't notice they get lowlights. Or highlights. Never did get the difference between the two."

Dean put his hand up just as Sam opened his mouth to explain. "Don't care, Princess Know-It-All. And I'm actually disturbed you _do_ know."

Sam scowled at his brother, ears a bit pink. So what if Sam knew a thing or two about hair? The science behind it was interesting.

"Anyways," Dean interrupted Sam's internal insecurites. "Once you get how genius my costume is, you'll realize your foolish mistake and what a comedic prodigy your big bro is."

Sam raised one perfectly plucked eyebrow, scrutinizing his brother's wardrobe choice. Apart from the crudely-cut paper pumpkin taped onto the front of his T-shirt, everything else was pretty much your basic 'Dean outfit', from his gelled-up hair all the way down to his Levi's and boots. Not very festive, in Sam's opinion.

"I don't get it."

"You know, Sammy, for a guy as smart as you are, you sure lack an immense amount of _imagination._ " Dean sing-songed, spreading his hands out and gesturing a rainbow arc with his palms. Sam rolled his eyes at that. "Will you just spit it out, Spongebob?" Sam replied, aggravated.

The older brother pointed at the pumpkin with a goofy-ass smile on his face, and it was then that Sam noticed something was actually scribbled on it. Sam leaned forward to read it, then promptly groaned.

Dean grinned down proudly at the childish 'pi' symbol in the middle of the paper vegetable. "Get it? It's a 'pi' symbol inside of a pumpkin. I'm a _pumpkin pi_." He slapped his knee, letting out a good chortle. "God, I'm funny."

"Hilarous." Sam mumbled in distaste.

"Ok, Heidi Klum, what's _your_ costume supposed to be?" Dean countered in annoyance.

"It's a historically-accurate suit of armor from the Arthurian times." Sam said standing up straighter and making himself taller, chest puffed up in pride. "It took a while to acquire the pieces; I wanted the costume to be as authentic as possible. So I went to various medieval fairs and –"

"Can you _be_ a bigger nerd?" Dean interrupted, shaking his head in disappointment. "If anyone asks me, I'm telling them you're a beardless Jon Snow."

Before Sam could retort, Dean clapped a hand on his armored back, making Sam trip forward. "Now, come on, Quest for Camelot. Let's go to the bar for some _boos._ " Dean said, elbowing Sam at his pun. Sam rolled his eyes at his older brother, but followed him inside with a resigned smile on his face.

Dean walked straight up to the bartender, a pretty woman with cat ears and whiskers.

" _Howl_ you doing?" Dean drawled, using his most charming 10-million-dollar smile, and Sam internally moaned at the terrible pun.

The bartender blinked impassively at him, obviously not in the mood for jokes. "Good one." She said. "Haven't heard that one in about five seconds. What can I get you boys?"

"From a pretty _ghoul_ like you, how about a date? I swear I won't tell your _mummy._ " Dean wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. Sam noticed the vein beginning to pop in the poor girl's temple and decided to intervene for his brother's safety. "Just two beers, please." He interjected politely before Dean could come up with another bad pun. If bartenders had it rough on a regular basis with being hit-on, he imagined Halloween just doubled the harassment rate.

The girl simply nodded, obviously wishing she were anywhere else but working on Halloween, and went to look for their drinks. Less than a minute later, she was back with two cold beers, which she slammed against the counter and left without a word.

"Sheesh, somebody should work on their Resting "Witch" Face, amirite?" Dean chuckled.

Sam chose to disregard the pun for the sake of his sanity. "So where's Castiel? I thought he'd be joining us to celebrate his first Halloween."

"Oh, he'll be here, for sure." Dean said, turning away from the bar and looking around at the people partying. "Said he wouldn't miss it for the world - wanted to do more 'research' on human behavior. Weirdo."

"Hey, cut him some slack. He's trying to learn more about us so he can better understand humanity. I think that's pretty cool."

"Yeah, yeah. He's practically the Jane Goodall of angels." Dean bit out, taking a swig of his beer. A sudden thought popped into his head. "Did he say what he was coming dressed up as, by the way?"

Sam shook his head, taking a sampling of his own beer, hissing a bit at the bitter taste. "He seemed very lost about what was 'an appropriate costume for a human event'. He asked me about typical costumes and whatnot, and even did some research with me –"

"Nerd Alert." Dean cut in.

Sam pointedly ignored him and continued. "I told him that if he wanted a fool-proof costume, he should just dress up as a monsters from human history. He left to do research of his own after that."

"Heh. With our luck, he probably comes dressed up as one of those lame-ass vampires from Twilight."

Suddenly, a smirk found its way back into Dean's face. "Maybe that would explain why he's late. He could be looking for his _necks_ victim."

Sam just stared.

Dean's smile grew wider.

"I mean, you know what they say, kissing vampires can be a _pain in the neck_."

"Dude, what-"

"Some might say dating vampires can _suck_."

"Really, man, you've got to stop."

"What? You don't find my jokes…'humerus'?"

Sam groaned, covering his face, not sure if he was more annoyed or amused at his brother's stupid antics.

Just then, a rustle of feather's alerted them of the arrival of their angelic friend. Both brothers turned toward the shorter man to greet him –

And froze.

"Oh, my god." Sam breathed, horrified.

Dean was laughing so hard, no sound was coming out.

In front of them, Castiel stood with that permanently confused look on his face, fully decked out in what was unmistakably an Adolf Hitler costume in all its Swastika-and-Jew-Hating glory.

After several seconds of stunned silence, Sam managed to overcome his shock long enough to find his voice. "Castiel? Why the hell are you dressed as Adolf Hitler?!" he said in a low hiss, looking around and noticing all the disapproving stares from other party-goers. Sam shot a dirty look at Dean, who had not stopped laughing and was now clapping his hands like a retarded mute seal.

Castiel cocked his head to the side, puzzled. The look was usually quite endearing, but coupled with the slicked-back hair and Hitler's signature black moustache, was more than unsettling.

"You told me to research monsters from your world's history. And I did. Adolf Hitler was responsible for the mass murder of millions of my father's children." Castiel deadpanned, very clearly upset about it.

Dean finally caught his breath, and began hitting Sam's bicep as he tried to calm his laughter long enough to speak.

"Oh god! Ahahaha! Sammy! Sammy!"

"Dean…" Sam grit his teeth.

"I guess you could say…"

"Don't you dare." Sam warned him.

"…you did _Nazi_ that coming!"

"I hate you so much."

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Silly idea I've had for a while. Hope I did their characters right; it's been a while since I saw some Supernatural so this felt less organic than my usual characterizations. Anyways, R&R please!


End file.
